In my interactions with young people, I’ve observed a recurring challenge: relationships. Many are hesitant to express it, but it’s one of their biggest struggles.
When someone has a traumatic background or has faced emotional strains and challenges, it often manifests in their relationships or their desire to have one as they navigate self-discovery. Their understanding of love hasn’t fully matured, and they tend to mimic what they grew up seeing or experience.
Once, a young man asked me how to handle a situation where a female friend on campus was secretly involved with multiple guys, and things fell apart when the truth came out. I advised him to forgive and let go. I explained that the young woman likely had her own healing and growth to work through, and he wouldn’t want to get entangled in that.
It was difficult for him to accept my advice, so I pointed out the alternative—reacting in a toxic way—which would only result into jealousy, fights, recklessness and making moves that he may later deeply regret.
Many of us grow up with a flawed perception of love. True love begins with self-love; only then can we share that love with others. Childhood trauma and emotional strain bend our perception of love the wrong way. Unfortunately, many mistake codependency for love, which creates an internal conflict for young people.
I always encourage them to understand, deeply research about codependency and work on their self-esteem. This not only strengthens their relationships but also helps them discern rightly who they should be intimate with.
Sex education is crucial. Alongside it, raising awareness about codependency and self-esteem can empower young people to make informed decisions about their relationships and sexual activity. It inspires them to wait until they’re truly ready, safeguarding their emotional well-being. It reveals to them the priceless gems in abstinence, gladly following through with it.